where your heart is set in stone
by Never the End127
Summary: Undercover is fun. Undercover is fun. Natasha figures if she says it often enough, she may be able to trick herself into believing it.


**Hello! Set shortly after the winter soldier. Natasha is in Italy, hiding after all her secrets were leeked. So. Enjoy!**

Undercover is fun.

Undercover is fun.

Natasha keeps repeating it to herself like a mantra, in various animated and exhasperated tones as she stamps around her flat, stuffing normal-person articles into her purse. Wallet, keys, cash. No weapons, no computer chips, no watch-com. Because those days are over.

And that's driving Natasha slightly insane.

Natasha loves undercover. More than life. She's going to name her first child 'Undercover.'

Except, Natasha's probably not going to have any children, as it's very likely that she'll kill herself out of sheer bordom pretty soon if she has to spend one more day pretending to be a decent, average, reasonably congenial human being.

She's always liked Italy- scenic, beautiful place, really.

Doesn't mean it isn't boring as hell when you have literally nothing to do- no crimes to solve, no leads to chase, no bad guys to shoot- she'll give civilians this. They cope exceedingly well with their incurably dull lifestyles.

Clint says she's high matinence. But, to be fair, he also thinks that Stark is an 'okay guy,' so what does he know?

Her phone rings. Natasha sucks down a gulp of watery coffee she got at the cafe down the block and flips open her 'borrowed' track phone, cutting through a dense crowd of chattering Italians.

She adds a faint, clipped accent to her voice, something she's personalized for herself while she's hiding out here, waiting on the whole 'red ledger' fiasco to blow over. It's slightly Russian, but she's alway sure to drag out her vowels and 'tsk' her T's, a little bit of mixed French and Korean.

"Nadia Ruther, to whom am I speaking please?"

"Nat, it's me."

She nearly drops her phone, which is a pretty big thing for her. She never trips, never drops anything. She makes a point of that, especially makes a point of rubbing Clint Barton's nose in it.

"Steve?"

Her voice is a little strained, a little whispery, and she feels her fingernails dig into her palms as she clenches her fist.

"Hey." He says. "Just wanted to check in, see if you were okay."

She doesn't answer immediately. How did he get this number?

"We were kind of worried about you. Starks been trying to... and Banner... we just hadn't heard from you in a while. Wanted to make sure everything's okay...?"

"I'm fine, honey." That 'honey,' part just kind of slipped out. She hopes he doesn't notice.

If he does, he ignores it. "You said you'd call when you got somewhere safe." There's nothing accusatory in his voice, but Natasha still feels guilty. LIke she's worried him or something.

"Sorry, Rogers." She straightens, tries to pull some of the dry, unconcerned humor back into her tone. "Things have been a little... messy, since SHIELD... well, you know. I've been trying to establish a new cover..." She glances over her shoulder to make sure no one is listening, then takes a different route than she usually does. Just to be safe, just to make sure no one's tailing her. "...And I didn't even think to let anyone else know. But I'm fine. Really. Bored out of my mind, but."

He laughs, and it's genuine. Natasha laughs too, makes a quip about him getting all the fun, and for a moment, the conversation feels a little less tense.

"I'm in Italy." She confesses. "Nice this time of year. Kind of... it's..." She shrugs, then remembers he can't see her. "I miss home." She says finally.

"Hmm." He acknowledges sympathetically.

And Natasha decides to leave it at that.

Steve doesn't need to know about all the chips she's called in to get this cover, all the hours sent establishing it, all the money spent to keep people quiet- she doesn't need him worrying about her. She does enough of that herself.

"I asked out that nurse." He says after a moment. "Shannon."

"Oh?" Natasha raises her eyebrows. "And how did that go?"

"Ah, well." She hears the shrug in his voice. "She's... she's a great girl, honestly."

"I hear a 'but,' coming on." Natasha scowls playfully at the pavement, taking another right to complete a full circle around the block.

He laughs too, uneasily. "Come home when you're ready, Natasha. Remember that... we don't care what you've done. If you need help, or a place to hide out, or money..."

She stops him there, and he laughs like he was expecting it.

"Okay, okay. I get it."

Before he hangs up, he tells her to take care.

"You too, Cap. You can't see me, but I'm saluting you."

"Of course you are."

"It's very funny." She informs him.

The conversation ends quickly and casually, as easily as it began.

Natasha misses him, and she kind of hates herself for that.

But as hard as she tries, she can't actually ever hate him for it.


End file.
